The doggone sweetest sweet peppers that ever lived
(Not really, regarding the title of this post).
But I bought my latest dangerous food based on the marketing. Here’s what the package said:
First of all, any food that touts itself a contender for the top category spot for anything in the world is worthy of being cooked in this here blog space, in my opinion, even though peppers are far from being as odd as most foods I usually try (like kangaroo or fish heads or reindeer moss, just as three random examples). These peppers were different from regular peppers, and different is my specialty. I imagined some kind of Willy Wonka peppers, if they were the sweetest ever. The cotton candy of peppers, maybe.
Second of all, I enjoyed the wording on the packaging. I am currently taking a copyediting course (to make some beer money), which made me appreciate the sentence:
“Maybe the sweetest pepper in the world?”
Why the lack of confidence, pepper people? I’m guessing the bag started out saying, “The sweetest pepper in the world!” and the lawyers made them change it because they didn’t win the pepper Olympics. I say go ahead and name your product the sweetest in the world and use wording like this post’s title to shout it from the rooftops, even though it will make your lawyers and copy editors pee themselves with anxiety. If you’re not giving a lawyer a heart attack on a semi-regular basis, you’re just not pushing the envelope far enough, that’s what I say.
Except that in this case, the peppers were no sweeter than a regular old every-day sweet pepper, so their lawyers were right to tell them to proceed with caution.
But I made them into something good. And my son enjoyed using them for the following silly pepper photo shoot.
I watched his poses with curiosity, wondering when he was going to do the inevitable male long pepper pose. I was so charmed when he didn’t do it, thinking, “Aw, my little four-year-old guy is too sweet to think that way.” Here was his second-last pose:
That’s his “belly button pose.” Again, I thought, “Awwww, my sweet little guy.” And then his last pose came, which I won’t post because it might be considered lewd. But let’s just say my angelic image of him was dashed and his gender finally confirmed.
But back to cooking. Barbecue weather is finally here, so I took a page from the Burger Nerd’s site and made sliders using his go-to burger recipe, with roasted sweet pepper mayonnaise to go with them (sort-of). I won’t recount Burger Nerd’s steps myself, but I will point out these important things:
– Chill the patties, then let them get luke a bit on the counter so that they stick together, but don’t stick
– Oil the grill
– Don’t manhandle the meat too much
– Salt the patties just prior to cooking
– Make a divot in the centre of each patty so that they don’t ball up when cooking
As for the mayo, I tried to make it from scratch using hemp oil, but because you have to chill hemp oil it didn’t emulsify. New lesson for me: room temp oil and eggs work best for mayo, folks!
So I turned to my thighs’ good friend…
Then whiz it in a food processor with 1/2C mayo, and you’re done!
I accompanied my sweet pepper mayo sliders with onions, pickles, and a greens salad (with the sweetest ever peppers), and voila.
Lovely! The burgers were so perfect that my kids devoured a meal I made for once, and the mayo had the added sweetness of the sweetest peppers in the world. Perfect!
Question: Have you ever eaten a food that should be world champion of something?