Just ducky

Posted on April 3, 2013 by Ann Allchin

The egg award has been my conversation lull solution lately. You know when you’re standing there with someone and there’s that awkward pause, like, “hm, I’ve already asked her about vacations and kids and work…” I’ve been helping people out by saying, “So I’m entering an egg contest.” I’ve told my friend Jackie about it so many times that when she accompanied me to the farmer’s market in our neighborhood (Mondays – we’re very lucky) to look for the eggs it was almost like I had selected her to be my second ovum in command, and she didn’t take her responsibility lightly. She later helped with sauce suggestions.

The rules of the contest are that the eggs need to be organic, and that there should be a photo of someone/thing related to where the eggs came from, so here’s mine:

Let’s call the free range egg farmer from Innisfil, Ontario, Canada “Laslo,” because he looks like a Laslo and he wasn’t very forthcoming with information. I did manage to learn that he has 100 quail and 20 ducks, but when I asked whether the duck the eggs came from had a name and he just said, “no,” in a very bored way, so I gave up when it came time to ask for his own name. Oh, Laslo.

I was happy to get duck eggs, though, because they’re unique here, which suits the dangerous theme of my blog well while also satisfying the requirements of the contest.

And you should know that these eggs have been on a bit of a journey to get here. I know I could potentially lose some freshness points because they went through slight cooler-coddled travel time, but I feel that the life experience they got added to the wisdom and maturity of this entry, so I feel proud to divulge their history. Like me, they have acquired a few battle scars that have only made them stronger – mine come mostly in the form of wrinkles, theirs…

We went up north for a few days with families and kids, I brought my duck eggs thinking my friend Hong and I would find leisure time to dream up and photograph a recipe, but instead the leisure time was eaten up by kids colouring eggs, and my extra big white ones were too good to resist (didn’t help that I had bought brown ones for my egg dying activity, which, FYI, don’t take colour nearly as well as white. Who knew?). So I wouldn’t let them boil my duckies, but I reluctantly let them dye them, making every three and five year old swear on their mother’s eyes that they’d be gentle. And I cooler-coddled them home again. The trip wasn’t a total loss, though – Hong gave me the idea to bake them in a bread basket.

And so we finally come to the product of all this egg fretting (frittata-ing? Not this time). I now reveal to the world, the perfect post-mortem-Easter-egg recipe and pending winner of the great global egg award…

Duck egg baskets with prosciutto and lemon basil cream sauce

(makes 6)

Egg baskets:

6 fresh, organic free range duck eggs
6 healthy-sized pieces of grainy bread
6 slices of prosciutto
3Tbsp butter, with extra for pan
Green onions, chopped, for topping

Preheat oven to 375. Generously butter 6 spaces in a muffin pan (mine stuck slightly, so do this well). Use a wide mouth glass to make 12 circles from bread. Butter the circles, and overlap two into each muffin space to cover. This can be slightly messy – it will look better later.

Add a slice of prosciutto

Add egg

Bake at 375 for 20-25 minutes. Yolk should still jiggle when cooked. Carefully pry from muffin pan with knife. If a bit of the toast crumbles off, no biggie. Still looks delicious.

Now. If you’re tired and don’t want to continue, good for you, this is a tasty, impressive breakfast on its own. You may also wish to top with hollondaise for a “benny-style” treat, or to substitute dill in my sauce recipe below for another traditional option that goes well with lemon and eggs. Since I am entering a contest however, I went with a more unconventional sauce…

Lemon basil cream sauce (based on recipe here):

1Tbsp butter
1 garlic clove, crushed and minced
1/2C organic cream (I used 18%)
1/2C organic chicken stock
Juice of 1/2 lemon
1Tbsp cornstarch
Pepper
Small handful basil

Melt butter in small heavy saucepan. Cook garlic, 1 minute. Add cream and chicken stock and boil over low heat until reduced by about half. Mix cornstarch with lemon juice in small bowl and add to saucepan. Stir, continue to boil until sauce thickens, and add pepper. Add basil before serving. Pour over each egg basket on serving plates and voila!

Wish me luck, and thanks @justlovefood for encouraging me to enter this great contest!

Artichoke lemonade

Posted on March 23, 2013 by Ann Allchin

Okay, so I didn’t actually make artichoke lemonade. I was just trying to work on my search rankings. Because that title is going to be a home run.

I haven’t blogged for a while, and I’m telling you this even though I read something once that said never start by apologizing that you haven’t blogged for a while. But you know what this post is going to be about? Honesty. Open kimonos. Bet that term will get more search results than my title.

So I haven’t blogged for a while because I’ve had a few food flops lately. I wanted to tell you this because I think it’s important to be open about the fact that not everything you cook will be delicious. If you’re going to cook dangerously. there will be days when food won’t work out. You’ll never learn anything if you keep making chicken fajitas once a week. If I’m ever at your house, and we have to order in, know that as long as you have a very full wine cellar I will never judge. And since I am far from being a top chef, I have had to compensate for my own cooking with the odd extra nip of vino lately (that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it).

First I tried Meyer lemons.

They were shining at me from within their highfalutin specialty packaging, so I knew I had to have them. Their PR people say they’re sweeter than regular lemons, so you should use them in lemony baked goods for extra delectabillity. Maybe mine were genetically modified beyond recognition, but they tasted sour on their own, yet didn’t taste lemony in anything I made with them. And I made lots, thanks to this blog post, shared by @HipFoodieMom1 on Twitter.

I made lemon fettuccine. And it was good, but not so lemony.

I made blueberry-meyer lemon fizz. Seems to be missing from White on Rice couple’s blog now, but let’s not mourn it. Although my daughter did ask for it again recently. Blueberry puree, lemon juice, soda water, simple syrup (boiled sugar water 1:1).

And Meyer lemon bars. Again, nice, but not so lemony. I wanted cheek pooching lemony goodness.

Thanks bobbleheadbaby.com

I got something tasty, but not poochy.

And then there were the artichokes (that my daughter proudly chose at the grocery store and insisted I prepare for this blog). I had tasted them “from scratch” once in my life before, where my friend cooked them and told me to scrape the meat from the leaves with my lower teeth, but I thought I’d do them myself. I steamed, but undercooked them. I tried them again, but my guests thought they were too much like work.

I bought some artichoke asiago dip to go with the artichoke the first time, and dipped it in butter the second.

But the heart was delicious (don’t eat the fuzzies, which are the “choke”).

The bottom line is, don’t give up. You can deal with the failures/blahs in your cooking as long as you hold out for the heart at the end of it all (gag, gag, please no one quote me as a cheesy retweetable quote, because it will ruin my reputation).

Next blog post: beef heart. Kidding. So far.

Following Midwesternbite.com’s method, I’ll close with a question for you. What has your biggest flop in the kitchen been?

Toothless Sunshine loves dragon fruit

Posted on February 9, 2013 by Ann Allchin

Our house is all about dragons right now.

The dragon connection started in an odd way. My jeans fell apart, because I’m cheap, and I don’t enjoy buying expensive jeans, but I enjoy wearing them (see frugal article here). So while my jeans had become unwearable due to air conditioning in the nether regions, I wasn’t able to let them go. So I made a pocket purse for my daughter.

In the name of fairness, I offered my son a homemade gift of his choice. His confident request – “A dragon.” I did myself some googling, and found this pattern for a dragon. I was disappointed that the creators of the pattern hadn’t managed to find the perfect dragon fabric that I did – green velour with green sequins – so I smugly walked away from Fabricland and made the very first object of my son’s affection, Toothless Sunshine.

Let me just take a time out to say that I’m a giant feminist, and that I proudly own my love for cooking, sewing, and parenting as a personal choice afforded to a liberated woman. Let’s move on.

Anyway, as we were in the spirit of dragons, I picked up this fruit

at our beloved No Frills grocery store and told my son it was a dragon fruit (pitaya). He begged to try it.

I searched for dragon fruit recipes in an attempt to make something interesting, but didn’t find much beyond sexy fruit plates. I was glad I hadn’t chosen those, because it turns out dragon fruit is quite bland. It looks very cool – fuschia with seedy pulp – but it’s less sweet and tart than a kiwi, which it’s often compared to due to its consistency, even though the dragon fruit is actually the fruit of a cactus.

I finally found a recipe for dragon fruit salsa over scallops, which I won’t even credit because their creation had so few ingredients it was basically dragon fruit and lemon juice (and we’ve already established that dragon fruit has a super boring flavour). I used their scallop/salsa idea, though, and created this:

Seared Scallops and Dragon Fruit Salsa (serves 2)

6 large scallops
A few Tbsp olive oil
1 ripe dragon fruit (gives slightly to touch, like a ripe mango or avocado), diced
1 small handful of fresh cilantro, chopped
2 green onions, chopped
1 small handful dried cranberries
Juice of 1 lime
One chopped chili if desired

Directions: Heat oil over med high heat, approx. 2 mins. Add scallops and sprinkle with salt and pepper.

Cook 2-3mins per side, until white and firm on the exterior (scored and slightly darkened if barbequing, but it’s winter and I was cold, so I chose the pan). Meanwhile, combine salsa ingredients. Serve scallops topped with salsa.

Results: Nice! My husband said, “Let’s keep this in mind for when we’re entertaining.” (Or something like that, I wasn’t totally listening). I included the dried cranberries to add a touch of sweetness where the dragon fruit was lacking, and the onions and cilantro answered that salsa freshness expectation. The dragon fruit made the whole thing pretty, and added a cool, crisp texture. Exotic, fresh, and tasty. Rating: 3 Yums

Toothless Sunshine will serve this recipe to his fire breathing friends for sure.

Wine Pairing: Winealign.com suggests that scallops pair well with pinot gris, so I’ll suggest Bestheim Réserve Pinot Gris 2011, Alsace, selling for $15.95 in Ontario.

Pretty Pakoras

Posted on December 22, 2012 by Ann Allchin

I feel slightly embarrassed by the “new” ingredient I’ve chosen to showcase with this post. I always experiment with foods I’ve never prepared here, hoping that others will read about my concoctions and also become more experimental (or will at the very least laugh at my adventures). But last night I cooked with something new to me, but that might make the rest of the world turn away accusing me of being a lame loser of a chef. I used gram flour, which is made from chickpeas. I know what you’re thinking – before you know it I’ll be introducing you a new ingredient some people call “wheat.”

I had been sifting through recipes online to find an appetizer to bring to a Christmas party at my friend Jackie’s. At first I told her I would bring a veggie tray because she had been describing what last minute tedious tasks she still had to accomplish, and picking up veggies was one of them. But when she said, “Sure you can bring veg, but you’re capable of so much more,” I knew I had to live up to my culinary potential of weirdness. I have a reputation of oddity to live up to, after all.

So I was swiping my way through my iPhone drooling at food porn when I happened upon a potato latke topped with crème fraiche and caviar. Bingo. Except that despite being plugged into the rare food community I had no idea where to find crème fraiche in my neighborhood, and I thought that a latke might be kind of bland. So I switched it to a spicy pakora with sour cream, and bang – cool creation.

Funny how I wasn’t even going to write about this appetizer because I thought it was too boring, even though it includes both gram flour and caviar, neither of which I had ever used. I think camel meatballs and fish heads have made my standards of weirdness kind of high lately.

But back to the flour, which is also called garbanzo flour or besan. It’s high in carbohydrates, but also in protein, which is a bonus. It’s also gluten free. As I mentioned, most cultures other than mine eat it – it’s a staple in India, Pakistan and Bangladesh, but it’s also eaten in France, Spain, and Italy. I was shocked to have bought 3 cups worth and paid about $1. Loving it.

I also hadn’t considered the caviar very interesting, because everyone has heard of caviar. Especially after the movie Big.

But how much did I really know about the types of caviar? Nothing, truth be told. And I’m not so sure I would care about the difference in taste or price, since I even enjoy those crackly roe they put on top of sushi at the mall. I picked up this “caviar,”

from our local fishmonger for the bargain price of $10. And then I read this article about real caviar, now from farmed sturgeon rather than wild, ranging (in the article) between $75 and $275 for 30g. The wild stuff is rare because it was overfarmed and so is heavily regulated. It goes for $750. Mine came from smoked herring and mullet in Spain and I’m totally good with that.

Looked like the guests were good with that too, because the appys didn’t last long! They were a pakora-rific pleasure. Here’s the recipe – the straightforward pakora directions stolen from here:

Pakora with caviar (makes about 20 small pakoras)

2C Besan (chickpea flour, gram flour)
1Tbsp crushed red pepper
3/4tsp salt
1/2tsp baking powder
2 small red chiles, chopped (or other hot peppers. This amount gave low-medium heat)
1/2C cilantro leaves, chopped (plus more for garnishing)
1 onion, sliced thinly into half-moons
1C luke warm water
1/2C sour cream
30g container of caviar (only about three-quarters will be used)
Oil for frying (canola or other light-tasting oil)

Directions: Fill skillet half-way with oil. Heat to 360-375 degrees (med-high heat for about 6 minutes, will sizzle when dough is dropped in). In a large bowl, mix together the flour, chili flakes, salt, baking powder, chili pepper, cilantro and sliced onion. Slowly add in the water, mixing well. The batter should be thick but still mobile (would drip from a spoon) with air bubbles throughout. When oil has heated, carefully drop tablespoons of batter into the hot oil. Allow them to brown, flipping once (about one minute per side). Drain on a cooling rack or paper towels. Repeat with remainder of batter.

Top each with sour cream, a few cilantro sprigs, and a dollop of caviar. This can be done after pakoras have cooled. Enjoy!

Results: Delicious, with a tidy, pretty presentation. Four yums for this one. I’ll make them again!

Wine Pairing: Sparkling wine. A budget knock-off caviar deserves a budget knock-off Champagne! Winealign.com says the Kiwi Walk Sparkling Sauvignon Blanc from New Zealand is a good one priced at $17.95 in Ontario.

Kid-friendly treasures

Posted on December 1, 2012 by Ann Allchin

Ooh I’m a bad, bad penpal. This month was my second time participating in “Foodie Pen Pals” – a foodie gift exchange open to anyone who wishes to participate. Everyone with a blog posts about their experience on the same day of the month, which happens to be…1.5 hours ago. I fell asleep. Wine and pasta are not a good combo when you need to get something done after the kids are in bed. At least my conscience woke me up again.

This month I was paired with a foodie keener, and I say this as a compliment. Jessica Bergen sent me a detailed questionnaire about my likes and dislikes, so I was very interested to see what would come back.

And what did? A little bit of everything, each item with its own recipe, all within a kid-friendly theme. I prepared the first one tonight, and while it was tasty, I think it might have had sleeping potion in it. I’ll describe that one last, so hang on until the end to see how it went. Here’s the rest of what Jessica sent:

Summary:

Pumpkin pie cupcakes
Jello Fishbowls
Chicken rice casserole
Baby apricot muffins
Pasta primavera

1. Pumpkin Pie Cupcakes

2/3C flour
1/4tsp baking powder
1/4tsp baking soda
1/4tsp salt
1 can (15oz) pumpkin puree
1Tbsp pumpkin pie spice (provided by Jessica!)
1/2C white sugar
1/4C brown sugar
2 large eggs
1tsp vanilla extract
3/4C skim milk
Whipped topping and pumpkin pie spice for topping

Directions: Preheat to 350. Line cupcake wrappers in a muffin pan. In a medium bowl, mix together flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt and pumpkin pie spice. In a larger bowl, combine pumpkin, sugar, brown sugar, eggs, vanilla and milk until smooth. Add dry to wet. Mix until just combined (batter will be runny). Fill liners ¾ full and bake for 15-20 minutes or until brown. Once cooled, add a dollop of whipped topping into the concave centre and sprinkle with pumpkin pie spice.

2. Jello Fishbowls

1/2C blueberries
Blue jello (provided by Jessica)
1 handful swedish fish candies
Small clear bowls or plastic cups

Directions: Put blueberries in bottoms of bowls or cups. Prepare jello mix and pour over. When jello has partially set, push a fish or two in and allow it to set further. Jessica suggested cutting fish out of apple, but this was beyond my artistic capabilities, so I made a slight substitution!

3. Chicken Rice Casserole

1C wild & brown rice (part of my package)
1 package onion soup mix
2 chicken breast halves
1 can cream of chicken or mushroom soup
2 cans water

Directions: Preheat to 350. Grease 9×13 pan. Add rice and sprinkle with onion soup mix. Place chicken on rice. Mix creamy soup and water and pour over. Cover with foil. Bake for 2 hours.

4. Baby apricot muffins (a dangerous food for sure, since I’ve never actually cooked with baby food!)

1 3/4C flour
1/2C sugar
2tsp baking powder
1/2tsp baking soda
1/2tsp salt
1/3C dried apricots, finely chopped
1 egg
1/4C cooking oil
213mL apricot baby food

Directions: Preheat to 400. Measure first six ingredients into a large bowl. Stir, and make a large well in the centre. Beat egg in small bowl until frothy and mix in oil and apricots. Pour into well and stir just to moisten. Batter will be lumpy. Fill greased muffin pans ¾ full. Bake for 15 minutes. Remove from pan after 5 minutes.

5. Pasta Primavera

1 package whole wheat pasta (I chose fusilli), prepared per package instructions
1 head broccoli, deflowered (ha ha)
1 red pepper, coarsely chopped
1C shrimp
1C scallops
3 handfuls frozen peas
2C chicken stock
3/4C cream
Glug of olive oil
1 Clubhouse pasta primavera seasoning pack (Includes dill weed, dehydrated minced onion, dehydrated minced garlic, coarse grind black pepper, thyme leaves)

Directions: Prepare pasta. Meanwhile, in a stir fry pan, heat glug of olive oil. Add broccoli and cook until bright, about 2 minutes. Add seafood and cook until no longer opaque, about 2 minutes. Add peas, red pepper, chicken stock, cream, and spices. Bring to boil and simmer until reduced, about 5 minutes. Combine sauce with drained pasta. Voila!

Results: Easy, quick and delicious! A great shortcut meal for days that prep seems tiring. Thanks for everything, Jessica!

Tune in again in a few days to see me return to my regular theme where I cook weird ingredients. Up next – Quince. Also, click on over to the Foodie Pen Pals site where Lindsay is suggesting donation to help the victims of Hurricane Sandy rather than trading food packages with one another. Check this great holiday idea!

Bystanders choke after the Jerusalem Artichoke

Posted on November 26, 2012 by Ann Allchin

Is it wrong that I knowingly made my husband gassy purely for my own entertainment?

Let me backtrack a bit. This week, my strange, dangerous food was the Jerusalem Artichoke. They look like this:

As usual, I decided to eat them because I had no idea what they were. I’ll have to ask my mother if I was always that kid everyone had to childproof against because I was always eating mysterious objects off the carpet. At least now the fact that my foods are found in markets and grocery stores suggests that they’re edible. Most of the time (see guava post).

Anyway, their name is kind of interesting. It turns out that Jerusalem Artichokes (also called sunroot, sunchoke, earth apple, or topinambour) have nothing to do with Jerusalem or artichokes, but were named that because they are the tuber of a sunflower, which Italians call girasole; (kind of like Jerusalem) and because they taste kind of like an artichoke, although they’re not one. Might be best to use one of their other names going forward.

And as for their taste? I found this quote about them early on in my research, post-purchase, but pre-preparation:

“which way soever they be dressed and eaten, they stir and cause a filthy loathsome stinking wind within the body, thereby causing the belly to be pained and tormented, and are a meat more fit for swine than men.” John Goodyer, 1621

Mmmmm, that’s good eatin. Apparently they’re a great source of inulin, which we can’t digest, so it needs to be … exited. So I fed some to my husband, because he was about to get on a plane.

Now you may find this mean. You may wonder why I would knowingly sabotage my husband’s digestive system as he was about to enter a confined space with a few hundred innocent passengers. Innocent children. The elderly.

I’ve narrowed it down to the following three reasons:

Gas in a confined space is funny, especially if you’re the one who doesn’t have to observe it in person.
Phil always sniffs food I prepare for him before he eats it, partly because he thinks I’m frugal and that I push the boundaries of food freshness. I admit to the former, but not the latter. My bitterness about his mistrust for my cooking despite having cooked for him daily for well over eight years may have peeked through
I was sure that he would tell me proud stories afterward about how he had successfully blamed his gas on someone else for the duration of the flight, and I wanted to see how well I knew him

But before you think I’m evil, I did read something that said that if you add an acid to your Jerusalem artichoke dish it reduces its “effects,” so I did this, preparing a salad in a vinaigrette. Which brings me to reason #4:

4. I wanted to see if vinegar really reduces the gaseous effects of the sunchoke

So you see, it was all done in the name of science. Here’s the recipe I improvised based on what else was in my fridge:

Bold Sunchoke Salad with Truffle Vinaigrette (serves 2)

2 small handfuls arugula or other greens
1 handful fresh basil
5 sunchokes, washed and quartered (no need to peel) (substitute radish if you can’t find)
1 handful cherry tomatoes, halved
6 small wedges brie cheese
Feta cheese, crumbled
3Tbsp Truffle Balsamic Vinegar (or plain balsamic vinegar, but the truffle one is delicious)
3Tbsp Olive Oil
Pinch of brown sugar
Salt and pepper

Directions: Mix the arugula and basil together, adding sunchokes, tomatoes, brie, and topping with feta. In a small bowl, whisk vinaigrette ingredients together with sugar, salt and pepper, and dress the salad.

Results: This was a bold, fresh salad. Flavourless salads bug me, especially if I’ve paid for one at a restaurant. The truffle balsamic combined very well with the earthiness of the root veg. Phil naively ate the whole thing.

After effects: TBD. Check in later for Phil’s commentary. I thought I got off scot-free until that night when I was a bit “windy” (Isn’t that just a pretty little British term?), but that could have been because my daughter insisted on pizza to console herself after her daddy left on his flight.

Rating: 2 Yums for the salad, 1 Gag for the Jerusalem artichoke. If you come across these at a market, make sure to “cut them loose” (FYI: Wiktionary says that’s a synonym for fart and I’m trying to be cute). Substitute something else earthy like radish or beet in the salad and you’ll have a winner.

Beverage pairing: Usually I choose a wine from winealign.com to go with my recipes, but in this case I believe the best pairing would be…

Persimmon, Pom and Prosciutto

Posted on November 6, 2012 by Ann Allchin

This is going to be a very short blog entry for two reasons:

I just downloaded Gimp photo editing software and spent an hour trying to get some glare off of a pomegranate seed. I feel strangely fulfilled, yet very tired
Tomorrow is the US election, and I don’t want to be that idiot in your Twitter feed where everything is all deep and meaningful about the future of the World as we know it, and I tweet something that says, “Hey, check out persimmon and prosciutto!” So my deadline for this post is about ten minutes from now.

Here is a persimmon:

There are two kinds, the Jiro and Hachiya. Both should be ripe before eating, but the latter should be almost mushy. Mine was the former.

Our wino friends were having us over for a steak dinner where they were sharing their considerable wine collection the other night. Bryan (their home chef) called me and said, “You bringing wine here is like bringing sand to a beach, so just bring some cool appetizers and we’re good.” I had some guilt about this, so had to make sure I brought something especially creative. These are good problems to have.

One of my favourite appetizers involves fig, arugula, mascarpone cheese, and prosciutto. Truth be told, it doesn’t involve those things, it actually is those things. So I thought of that and made this:

Persimmon Prosciutto Bites (Appys for 12)

1 persimmon, hull sliced off, remainder sliced into mini fry-sized slices
Soft light cream cheese
Greens (whatever is on hand – I’d suggest arugula if avail, but I used spinach)
Pomegranate – 3 seeds per app
Prosciutto, cut into long strips

Directions: Slice persimmon. Slather each “fry” with creamed cheese, topping with pom seeds.

Wrap in large green leaf, then prosciutto.

Results: Tasty, but kind of tame. Persimmon is very nice, almost similar to a firm mango. This appetizer would work well with any sweet, distinctive flavoured fruit as the centrepiece (fig, mango, peach…). Don’t use too many pomegranate seeds – they contribute a nice juicy pop, but too many pithy seeds can be annoying. Rating: 1 Yum

Seriously though, thanks to Gimp and my new white plate from the dollar store, I don’t think the people who ate the appy would recognize it based on my hot picture.

Wine Pairing: A friend at the party, Sandy, who has a highly respectable palate (dead on in blind tastings and likes the finer things in life but not in a snobby way) looked at me meaningfully to give me his opinion, saying only, “It pairs perfectly with this wine.” Unfortunately for you this stellar wine is no longer available, but you can probably substitute a nice buttery Chardonnay of your choice. This one was so good that I had to wonder if it had gone bad because it was unlike most other wines I’ve ever tasted. Find a highly rated Chardonnay substitute at www.winealign.com, which is Bryan’s website.

Paneer and a Pen Pal

Posted on October 31, 2012 by Ann Allchin

So this post is a fun little diversion from my usual experimentation with weird ingredients – except that I still experimented with weird ingredients. I’m addicted, really.

Anyway, I’ll explain. This month I finally signed up for “Foodie Pen Pals.” Lindsay at theleangreenbean.com runs a pen pal program where foodies are paired together to trade food items by mail, and then they blog about what they received at the end of the month. So this is that blog!

I was excited to receive my package from Ashlee at Twitter handle @missashlee286. I opened the box to find…

Very considerate that Ashlee had planned a whole family meal for me within our $15 limit! Maybe I should hire her as our personal chef, because that’s the kind of budget that I should really obey on a more regular basis.

So I was excited to get started, and liked the idea of a chicken curry, but if you know me well you know that chicken isn’t quite weird enough for my strange tastebuds (unless it’s mixed with something strange, of course), so my mind started to veer and swerve until I was at Costco and found this:

A gigantic package of Paneer, or Indian cottage cheese. The picture really doesn’t do justice to how big it was. You may be wondering how many people I was looking to feed with a huge double pack of something I had never cooked before, and the answer to that question is two, because there was no way my kids were going to try it. You may also be wondering, “Why wouldn’t she just go to a regular grocery store and get a teensy pack once she knew that was what she wanted to do,” but again, if you knew me well you would know that I do everything in my power to reduce the number of times I have to wrestle my children in and out of car seats. If I can buy everything at one store I do, even if it means I’ll be filling my fridge with a supply of cheese that would feed the entire cast of Slumdog Millionaire for a year.

I’ve eaten Paneer from restaurants with peas (mattar paneer), and also with spinach (palak paneer), and I love both, but my family is more partial to peas so I bought a bag of those big enough to feed the island nation of Australia and rushed home to get cooking. I Googled recipes for a while to figure out what else needed to go in this dish, finding only that ghee (clarified butter which you may remember from Helen Bannerman’s kids’ story is actually made of tigers) and onions were the main elements that were consistent, other than the spice and sauce elements which I was already lucky enough to have received. So here’s what I did:

Ooh, but wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. I forgot that Ashlee had planned for me to have a kid-friendly appetizer, so I boiled up some grapes in 1/3 bottle of leftover wine and 1/2C sugar, added them to the crackers and Wow butter (awesome substitute for peanut butter which she knew I liked due to earlier blog post – peanut allergic daughter) and made little fake-PB&J snackers. And before you call the Children’s Aid, Mom (again?), I boiled the wine and sugar together for a good long time so there was no alcohol left when the grapes were coated.

But back to the Easy Mattar Paneer. SO quick and easy:

2 cups paneer cheese, cut into small cubes
2Tbsp butter – I didn’t have ghee, using regular butter rather than the tiger variety
1 medium onion, chopped
1 package Kitchens of India Curry Paste, or your favourite curry mix or recipe
2 servings of rice, per package directions

Directions: Melt butter in pan over med-high heat. Add cubes of paneer, cooking until browned.

Set aside. Add onion to pan and cook until translucent. Cook frozen peas in boiling water, drain, and add to pan with onion. Add curry sauce and paneer and cook just until hot. Serve over rice.

Results: My first foodie pen pal experience was a great success! Dinner, which I cooked a few nights ago, was enjoyed by all, and I cooked the identical meal again tonight using spinach instead of peas and it was just as good. I also unloaded a great portion of the leftover paneer on my friend to prepare, so it may be the recipe that keeps on giving. Thanks again Ashlee! Recipe Rating: 3 Yums

Bonus Fun Facts about Paneer: People have been eating it since before 6000BC, and now it’s served as the “McSpicy Paneer,” at McDonald’s India. It has probably reinvented itself even more often than Madonna has.

Guava coconut ice, hold the guava

Posted on October 26, 2012 by Ann Allchin

Guavas suck.

There. I said it. I’m sure I’ve just pissed off thousands of people in the guava industry in the middle of droughts and global warming and all the rest of it, when they need every little guava they can hawk just to be able to afford the basics of their Hawaiian existence – grass skirts, flower necklaces, and red Magnum PI Ferraris.

Thanks backtotheeighties.net

But as much as I feel bad for all those guava growers, I cannot tell a lie. They’re terrible. The ones I got were hard like little dehydrated limes, so I you wouldn’t even be able to use their juice. You couldn’t eat a slice of one, because they’re all completely saturated with hard little seeds that are uncrunchable – I guess you’re supposed to swallow them whole like they’re teensy pills, but there are so many of them that you’d end up having to swallow the entire slice. The skins are edible, so maybe you could peel and eat those, but they’re sour, and not in a good way. I thought maybe their redeeming quality was some insanely great flavour that you could somehow extract through highly complex top secret guava processing methods, but when I licked the inside of one it didn’t taste like anything at all, so unless there’s great flavour that’s unleashed after you answer a skill-testing question, I must be missing something.

My impressions were confirmed when I mentioned to a friend that I had tried them, and she said, “Oh. Is it just me, or do they taste like puke?”

Earlier, I had gone to my Twitter foodie gurus to ask what paired well with guava, hoping that their answers would inspire me to throw a few complementary flavours together into an amazingly original culinary creation and they gave great suggestions, like chilies, goat cheese, lychee, strawberry, citrus, vanilla, custard, and coconut. I prepared to go with coconut, picked up a few ingredients, and dragged out my ice cream maker, ready to wow my family with an exotic ice cream I knew they would beg me for for the rest of their lives. Then I licked the guava, and you can guess the rest.

Blechsville.

I still made the coconut ice, inspired by methods in the cookbook, “Ice cream and iced desserts,” by Joanna Farrow and Sara Lewis:

Coconut Ice (serves 4)

1 can light coconut milk, chilled in the fridge
Simple syrup (1.5C water and 3/4C fast-dissolving sugar, boiled until dissolved then cooled and chilled)
4Tbsp sweetened shredded coconut

Directions: If you have an ice cream maker, add coconut milk to syrup in the machine and churn until firm. If you don’t have an ice cream maker, combine liquids and freeze for 4 hours, beating once with fork, electric mixer, or food processor and fluff with fork before serving.

Sprinkle ice with shredded coconut.

Results: This was a simple, tasty dessert that my kids loved, and it was much lighter than a traditional ice cream. It could easily be dressed up with additional pureed fruits, although guava should be avoided at all costs. Rating: 4 gags for the guava, but 2 Yums for the coconut ice

Wine Pairing: Let’s choose a dessert wine for dessert – I’ll go with Lakeview’s 2010 Vidal Icewine, recommended by Winealign.com, sold for 19.95 in Ontario.

PS – Maybe I got some old, dehydrated guavas, just like when you open a giant orange and it’s very unjuicy and tasteless? You tell me, if you’re not a guava-phobe!

Wee Kiwis

Posted on October 18, 2012 by Ann Allchin

Little is cute. This isn’t news. The smaller they are, the more we like them. It all started with Arnold. Next it was Webster. Mr. Papadopoulos… Recently, TLC started “Little people, big world.” Now it’s Honey Boo Boo… And yes, I added that last one to help with search engine hits. But Webster could out-traffic Honey Boo Boo, right?

Anyway. Maybe TLC should do a show about mini kiwis, because they’re pretty cute too.

Grape kiwis are exactly like the big ones as far as I can tell, except that they’re hairless and small — the Chihuahuas of the fruit world. They’re also called “hardy kiwis,” because they survive for a while in cold temperatures, although they don’t last long once they’ve been picked, so if you find some they should be treasured.

Grape Kiwis and Grapes

It’s always challenging to prepare a strange fruit in something other than a fruit salad or a smoothie, but I don’t like going for the obvious, so this time I went to my trusty epicurious app and pretended the grape kiwis were grapes. Here’s the coolest recipe I came up with based on that search, cooked with my modifications below:

Chicken Curry Salad with Grapes (and now grape kiwis) – serves 4 appetizer portions

2tsp curry powder, Madras-style preferred
1/4C light mayo
1/4C plain low fat Greek yogurt
1tsp minced peeled fresh ginger
1/2tsp grated orange peel
2C cooked chicken, diced (I used leftovers which was awesome)
1/2C grape kiwis, halved (use all red grapes if you’re not lucky enough to find grape kiwis)
1/2C red grapes, halved
2 green onions, thinly sliced
1 handful walnuts, chopped
4 large curly lettuce leaves

Directions: Stir curry powder in pan over med-high heat until fragrant (about 1 min).

Transfer to med bowl. Add everything except lettuce leaves (did I really have to tell you that?). Place one lettuce leaf on each plate and top with salad.

Results: This was actually one of my top experimental recipes. I shouldn’t be surprised, because Epicurious rarely disappoints, but it was even better with the seedy acidity of the baby kiwis. My friend dropped in and I made her try a plate despite her liver cleanse (yes, I strong-armed her) and she texted me hours later to say she was still thinking about the salad. Deliciously rich texture. When I can’t find the baby kiwis I’ll make this with grapes, and will throw it into a pita. Awesomesauce. Rating: 5 Yums

Wine Pairing: Winealign.com tells me the classic wine pairing for a chicken curry is Riesling and I’m sick of recommending my favourite, Cave Spring’s. Its alternative suggestion is a sparkling white, so let’s go with the Bernard Massard Brut Cuvée De L’écusson, Luxembourg, which Winealign suggests is the best sparkling white for under $25 to be found at my local liquor store at only $16.95 in Ontario. I wish I were drinking some with Emmanuel Lewis right now.

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